July 7, 2014

JING’S ORPHANAGE

I don’t know where to start.  What an amazing day.  Dawn and I are absolutely stunned by today’s experience.  Jing got to meet her first caretakers today…and it was beyond anything we could have expected.  To our friends out there with adopted children from China we cannot express enough how meaningful today’s visit was…and how good it was for both our girls.

The day began with us all a little nervous and not knowing what to expect.  We had been careful to not build this up too much for the girls, because we didn’t want them to be disappointed.  We knew visiting the orphanages would be meaningful for us, but didn’t know what kind of reception we would receive.

Before leaving the hotel for the orphanage, a representative from the orphanage arrived to help our driver and guide find the way.  He remembered Jing and had been the representative who had driven her to Guangzhou 8 years ago when we adopted her.  He was so welcoming and friendly and told us of stories (through our guide) of Jing before we adopted her.  I think it really helped to calm us all and especially Jing before we even left for the visit.

When we arrived at the gate of the orphanage a huge red banner greeted us.  It was in Chinese, but even our guide was impressed, as the banner was for us!  When we pulled up, the staff came out to greet us and welcome us inside.

We were given a tour where we were shown the infant room, the play room and an activity room.  Jing got to interact with a little one…about the same age as she was when adopted.  This child also had a cleft lip and came to Jing immediately.  Jing embraced her and we have an amazing picture of the two of them locking eyes.  For now, it’s Jing’s favorite memory of the day and that makes us very happy.

We were shocked on the tour to see a huge photo wall, where images of orphanage children and the adopted families were permanently displayed.  This building is relatively new and the images had been screen printed unto the wall.  There is the middle were pictures of Jing and our entire family.  It was a special moment to realize that all of these years later, they were still thinking about her, reminded of her.  

We then were led to a large conference room with about 8 members of the orphanages’ staff.  They had a presentation to share with us and we spent a good amount of time talking about Jing, her likes, her skills, her personality.  They asked many questions and were genuinely interested in here.  We learned many things about her history today.   We learned her birth date is not estimated, but actual.  We learned that a very skilled and visiting surgeon had completed her cleft lip repair.  We also learned that he agreed to perform her surgery, even though she was too young, because of her good health and unusual strength for a 4-month old (no surprise to those that know her).   It nearly brings me to tears to think that her quiet confidence, which serves her so well today, was apparent so young and allowed her to benefit from such a gift.  We discovered that Jing was in the orphanage when it first started and she was its third child. 

The orphanage director brought out Jing’s case file and we were allowed to examine every document.  They gave us copies of documents we hadn’t seen and allowed us to have photos of Jing as an infant that we didn’t know existed.   As each document was examined the staff told us stories and their memories of those days.  It was far more than we could have hoped for.  Jing was in the middle of it…huddled over the documents as the Director spoke and listening intently as our guide translated.  We turned over a photo of the director and Jing (when she was an infant).  It’s precious and I immediately asked him to reenact it with her. We have an incredible photo of the two of them together, 9 years after the original was taken.  We presented them a photo book of Jing that includes images of her years with us.  We hope it gives them a glimpse into her life with us.

Jing with the Director of her orphanage.

Next, the staff took us to the orphanages original location and to Jing’s “finding spot,” the place where she had been left by her biological family in 2005.  We spent a moment there and allowed Jing a moment of quiet and ended it with our family photo, snapped in exact spot.

We then met the staff for a delicious lunch of local specialties.  Our girls didn’t disappoint and they wielded their chop sticks with finesse…and ate their way through the best of Shanwei’s seafood.  The orphanage staff delighted in the girls’ enthusiasm.  Both girls had a pile of bones and discarded shrimp heads by the time the meal had completed.   The staff toasted us, we toasted them.  We came together…so much so that we are having dinner with them again tomorrow night.  We have made new friends.  Phew…we are tired…and this is a lot of writing.   More posts to come…and we hope an equally amazing experience in Xixi’s home city.